Doctor Death aka Mac the Knive.

Jist hid tae relate this cracker tae abidy.
Am goin back a guid few years noo, hooiver, it'll bide wee me foriver.
Scene...........onboard an auld drilling rig North Sea
Need to know............every cabin hid there ane laundry bag wee room number attached.

Story
A kid ye not, but the name o the rig wiz the Alladin, by christ it could hiv deen wee a rub richt enough, but nae too hard or it wiz likely tae fa tae bits. As for the crew........abidy fine loons.....but nae bonnie loons..........yiv got the picture.
Onyway, the medic used tae sleep in the hospital normally, it was seperate fae the rest o the accomodation. Best wy tae describe Mac wuid be "dead man walking", a sorry sicht for a medic, he kid hiv deen we tackin a few peels himsell.
The company hid this safety officer based in the office, hooiver, on occasions she wuid visit the rig.
When she did appear, simple as this, she wiznae safe amongst a the bears onboard. As a "safety precaution" Mac wuid vacate the hospital and the wifey would move in if she wiz stoppin oo'er, gee her a bit o privacy like.
Abidy workin on nichts wiz in the galley packin thir gobs when the laundry man appears in the door. "Fit the fucks that yiv got stuck on yer heed min?" This prompted the lad tae remove the small black cotton briefs from his heed, and with that, promptly burried his nose intae the gusset and sniffed for Scotland. Ye kin imagine abidy wiz thinkin, fit the fucks he on like? Then it dawned....................fuck me, it's the wifie's knickers!
Well you can imagine the strammish that ensued, fuck Culloden, that was the last battle fought on British soil. A the boys wiz a blur faichten oor the poor lassie's personals. Knickers oor the heid, erms aloft, a tackin it in turns tae inhale air through the gusset o her drawers. Grown men were greetin wee joy. Fortunately, things settled efter we hid feast oorsells, and it wiz back tae work.
It disnae tack long for stories tae spread as weel as ye ken. The look o dejection on the dayshift lads faces wiz a picture. The driller wiz pit on suicide watch efter hearin the gusset hid been through the wash, feckin inconsolable the poor lad wiz.
Onyway, the jungle drums reached the captains lugs, he took it a in guid fun, he wiz aricht wiz Captain Marvel. Hooiver, thocht he wid tack it on himsell tae hae a wee word in the wifies lug so a repeat performance widnae happen the following nicht.

"Just a word of advice tae ye ma luv, I wuidnae be pittin yer washin doon tae the laundry in future, best tack yer smalls hame for a dicht."

" What smalls?" she said
"I haven't put anything down to the laundry"!!!!!!!!!

Fuck me, Mac had kept the hospital laundry bag when he changed cabin, it wiz his fuckin briefs!!!

It's nae worth thinkin aboot ony mair...................am awa tae be seek again

RIP Mac, you gave us many laughs

Cheerio aye noo

Naithin